Hello Roxy Girl, Prairie Don and MNABuster! Welcome to Your Mystery Story Page! This is the sweet spot to post your best effort at writing a mystery! This is also the place to post two stars and a wish about the other stories you read. Two stars are positive things you see in the story and your wish is constructive feedback on how to specifically improve the story. So, to recap....which means go over again, post your story here after you've done some in class editing with your peers and then post it online for the world to see. The other people who are part of your team online, will post 2 stars (positive things) and one wish (constructive feedback to help make the story better). Be kind, because after all, they will do the same for you!
The Thief By Roxy girl
One night at midnight there was a huge crash that came from the Dollarama. Someone had smashed the window into a million pieces! “They took everything!” yelled the store owner. “But Who would do such a thing?” Crystal asked. Nobody knew who did it. Sarafina, Crystal Alexa,and I wanted to investigate, we were experts at solving mysteries. We'd have to save the investigation till morning though, because it was to dark to do it now. As I was laying in my bed I was thinking to myself. Who would do such a thing, But the bigger question was why? I woke up the next morning. I got dressed ,and ran over to Crystals. Then we ran as fast as we could over to Sarafina's and Alexa's house they are sisters. We got them, and ran all the way to Dollarama. When we got there we were out of breath, we started to investigate. We had our investigation kit that we got from Wal-Mart. We used the magnifying glass, and there was a footprint left in the mud, we checked it out. It was a very small footprint. Then I saw tire tracks going out of the parking lot. We followed them for awhile. They led out of Drumheller, so we asked Crystal's mom to drive us. She said she would so we followed the tracks to West Edmonton Mall. There was police all around we were asking ourselves, why all the police were there. One of the police man said that someone had broke into all the Dollarama's in the mall at midnight ,and stole everything. We went back to Drumheller. When we got back it was late so Crystal's mom called Alexa's, Sarafina's, and my mom to ask if we could stay at Crystal's house for the night. They both said we could so we went to bed. In the morning I saw Sally at school she had a hole bunch of new stuff. “Where did she get it all!” I asked Crystal. We all looked at one of the price tags it said Dollarama. We looked at another it also said Dollarama. ALL OF THEM SAID DOLLARAMA!
TRY TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY.
Solution We went over to Sally and asked her if we could go to her house after
school. She said we could. We all walked over to her house with her as soon as the bell rang. We went inside they had a hole bunch of cool new stuff from Dollarama! We went into her room she had stuff everywhere. It was all from Dollarama! We had began to think that she was the one who broke into Dollarama, well her father anyway. We all went home at about four o'clock after we found out that everything they had was from Dollarama. They never went to Dollarama it was to expensive for them. So my mom reported them ,and the police man came ,and looked around their house he said they were definitely the ones that broke into all the Dollarama's. So Sally's father went to jail ,and Sally went to a really mean foster family.
My two stars are you had very good detail,and I got a good clear metal picture.My one wish maybe try not to use so many characters.Prairie Don.
Wedding Chaos Good morning Los Angeles” blared the radio, “It will be sunny for the rest of the week” “Yes” moaned Janessa, who was getting married in one day. Janessa and Eric had finished all of the plans just two days before and were just starting to relax, with their parents squawking at them over the decorations, food, and especially Janessa's dress. Eric always left early for these last few weeks so he could take three weeks off to go on a vacation with Janessa to Honolulu, Hawaii. “Knock!” “Knock!” was the door, Janessa rolled out of bed, put her robe on and went to the door. When Janessa opened the door it was her best friend Tara, “Oh my gosh Janessa! in one more day you'll be married”she cried as she hugged Janessa in tears. All of a sudden Tara brought up an idea out of the blue, “Why don't you come over to my house tonight and we'll have sleepover before you get married” “ Umm I will need to go over to your house anyway to get ready for the wedding tomorrow” “Then it's a yes”squealed Tara . “Okay I'll come over at four and we'll have a sleepover”
At around two Janessa started to load her car full of her stuff for the night including the wedding dress, make-up, hair stuff, shoes, bridesmaid dresses and the rings to give to her nephew tomorrow for the wedding. By the time she was packed and ready to drive to Tara's house, it was three thirty. It took Janessa twenty minutes to get to Tara's house, when she arrived Tara was there to greet her, together they unloaded the vehicle, got into their pajamas, had fries and chicken for dinner. Around seven they had cleaned up their dishes and were making popcorn for their movie marathon, At eleven both Janessa and Tara were snoring quietly, in their sleeping bags with the movie still on. “Buzz!” “Buzz!” went the alarm that Tara had set so they got up on time. The bridesmaids arrived at nine and the process began. First the bridesmaids hair and make-up were done then Janessa's hair and make-up was done and finally everyone got into their dresses. "hey Janessa" yelled Tara so Janessa could hear her, Is a clown suppose to be at the wedding, because he's here" Yes he's suppose to be here for the reception to show everyone how to make love bird balloon animals" giggled Janessa "oops I forgot the rings upstairs" Janessa cried as she flew up the stairs to get the rings for her nephew who was just arriving, but she could not find them anywhere. “Oh no!” Janessa screamed nearly in tears, Tara came running up stairs to see what was wrong. “What's wrong” Tara asked trying to comfort Janessa, “the rings are gone!” cried Janessa holding back tears, “and they were my grandmother's and grandfather”s rings who died five years ago and they were really special to me!” shrieked Janessa still trying to hold back tears “Oh they were really special to you” Tara asked “Yes and now someone has stolen them” replied Janessa “Well not exactly oh I might as well just come out with it, I stole the rings I have them in the jewelery box” muttered Tara “You stole the rings Tara but why? Janessa asked “because ever since you got engaged you didn't include me in the planning and you spent the whole time with Eric and none with me!” Tara cried nearly in tears herself “Okay I know I've messed up but why don't you come snowboarding with us in February I'm sure Eric won't mind?” “Okay I'll go but right now we have to leave to get to your wedding” Tara cried as she shoved Janessa toward the door. Janessa had a wonderful wedding and then left two days later for her vacation with Eric. Janessa did keep her promise and in February Tara, Janessa, Eric all went snowboarding together, Eric was a show off by doing so many tricks that the girls couldn't do. Two years later Janessa and Tara were still really good friends and Janessa had a baby on February 3rd. From then on Janessa tried to include Tara in as much as she could. ----
“ Strawberry are you going to the tree climbing contest after school?”, asked Banana. The tree climbing contest was the most popular contest at school.
“Yes I am”, I replied, “Are you?”
“No I can't, I got detention for fighting in the hall”, she said.
“But you never fight!”, I gasped
“I know but I got really mad at someone”, she sobbed.
At the contest Mrs.Eitzen the 5thand 6thgrade teacher called the winners for the last and final round for the tree climbing contest.
“The winners are Strawberry, Sal, Bob, and Shadd , called Mrs.Eitzen.
I could not belive that I was one of the winners, now for the finials which are in Hanna Hills. The next day Banana looked really sad, and a bit guilty. At second period Mrs.Eitzen told us about the missing gel pens. As soon as Mrs.Eitzen had finished Banana blushed ,and I knew who it was that had taken the gel pens.
Try to solve the Mystery....
At recess I asked Banana why she was sad, she told me she was sad because she didn't have any gel pens, her dad bought her a pack of two hundred pens so she would have a big set of two hundred gel pens tomorrow!
Hello Roxy Girl, Prairie Don and MNABuster! Welcome to Your Mystery Story Page! This is the sweet spot to post your best effort at writing a mystery! This is also the place to post two stars and a wish about the other stories you read. Two stars are positive things you see in the story and your wish is constructive feedback on how to specifically improve the story. So, to recap....which means go over again, post your story here after you've done some in class editing with your peers and then post it online for the world to see. The other people who are part of your team online, will post 2 stars (positive things) and one wish (constructive feedback to help make the story better). Be kind, because after all, they will do the same for you!
The Thief
By Roxy girl
One night at midnight there was a huge crash that came from the Dollarama. Someone had smashed the window into a million pieces! “They took everything!” yelled the store owner. “But Who would do such a thing?” Crystal asked. Nobody knew who did it. Sarafina, Crystal Alexa,and I wanted to investigate, we were experts at solving mysteries. We'd have to save the investigation till morning though, because it was to dark to do it now. As I was laying in my bed I was thinking to myself. Who would do such a thing, But the bigger question was why? I woke up the next morning. I got dressed ,and ran over to Crystals. Then we ran as fast as we could over to Sarafina's and Alexa's house they are sisters. We got them, and ran all the way to Dollarama. When we got there we were out of breath, we started to investigate. We had our investigation kit that we got from Wal-Mart. We used the magnifying glass, and there was a footprint left in the mud, we checked it out. It was a very small footprint. Then I saw tire tracks going out of the parking lot. We followed them for awhile. They led out of Drumheller, so we asked Crystal's mom to drive us. She said she would so we followed the tracks to West Edmonton Mall. There was police all around we were asking ourselves, why all the police were there. One of the police man said that someone had broke into all the Dollarama's in the mall at midnight ,and stole everything. We went back to Drumheller. When we got back it was late so Crystal's mom called Alexa's, Sarafina's, and my mom to ask if we could stay at Crystal's house for the night. They both said we could so we went to bed. In the morning I saw Sally at school she had a hole bunch of new stuff. “Where did she get it all!” I asked Crystal. We all looked at one of the price tags it said Dollarama. We looked at another it also said Dollarama. ALL OF THEM SAID DOLLARAMA!
TRY TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY.
Solution
We went over to Sally and asked her if we could go to her house after
school. She said we could. We all walked over to her house with her as soon as the bell rang. We went inside they had a hole bunch of cool new stuff from Dollarama! We went into her room she had stuff everywhere. It was all from Dollarama! We had began to think that she was the one who broke into Dollarama, well her father anyway. We all went home at about four o'clock after we found out that everything they had was from Dollarama. They never went to Dollarama it was to expensive for them. So my mom reported them ,and the police man came ,and looked around their house he said they were definitely the ones that broke into all the Dollarama's. So Sally's father went to jail ,and Sally went to a really mean foster family.
My two stars are you had very good detail,and I got a good clear metal picture.My one wish maybe try not to use so many characters.Prairie Don.
MNABuster
Wedding Chaos Good morning Los Angeles” blared the radio, “It will be sunny for the rest of the week” “Yes” moaned Janessa, who was getting married in one day. Janessa and Eric had finished all of the plans just two days before and were just starting to relax, with their parents squawking at them over the decorations, food, and especially Janessa's dress. Eric always left early for these last few weeks so he could take three weeks off to go on a vacation with Janessa to Honolulu, Hawaii. “Knock!” “Knock!” was the door, Janessa rolled out of bed, put her robe on and went to the door. When Janessa opened the door it was her best friend Tara, “Oh my gosh Janessa! in one more day you'll be married”she cried as she hugged Janessa in tears. All of a sudden Tara brought up an idea out of the blue, “Why don't you come over to my house tonight and we'll have sleepover before you get married” “ Umm I will need to go over to your house anyway to get ready for the wedding tomorrow” “Then it's a yes”squealed Tara . “Okay I'll come over at four and we'll have a sleepover”
At around two Janessa started to load her car full of her stuff for the night including the wedding dress, make-up, hair stuff, shoes, bridesmaid dresses and the rings to give to her nephew tomorrow for the wedding. By the time she was packed and ready to drive to Tara's house, it was three thirty. It took Janessa twenty minutes to get to Tara's house, when she arrived Tara was there to greet her, together they unloaded the vehicle, got into their pajamas, had fries and chicken for dinner. Around seven they had cleaned up their dishes and were making popcorn for their movie marathon, At eleven both Janessa and Tara were snoring quietly, in their sleeping bags with the movie still on. “Buzz!” “Buzz!” went the alarm that Tara had set so they got up on time. The bridesmaids arrived at nine and the process began. First the bridesmaids hair and make-up were done then Janessa's hair and make-up was done and finally everyone got into their dresses. "hey Janessa" yelled Tara so Janessa could hear her, Is a clown suppose to be at the wedding, because he's here" Yes he's suppose to be here for the reception to show everyone how to make love bird balloon animals" giggled Janessa "oops I forgot the rings upstairs" Janessa cried as she flew up the stairs to get the rings for her nephew who was just arriving, but she could not find them anywhere. “Oh no!” Janessa screamed nearly in tears, Tara came running up stairs to see what was wrong. “What's wrong” Tara asked trying to comfort Janessa, “the rings are gone!” cried Janessa holding back tears, “and they were my grandmother's and grandfather”s rings who died five years ago and they were really special to me!” shrieked Janessa still trying to hold back tears “Oh they were really special to you” Tara asked “Yes and now someone has stolen them” replied Janessa “Well not exactly oh I might as well just come out with it, I stole the rings I have them in the jewelery box” muttered Tara “You stole the rings Tara but why? Janessa asked “because ever since you got engaged you didn't include me in the planning and you spent the whole time with Eric and none with me!” Tara cried nearly in tears herself “Okay I know I've messed up but why don't you come snowboarding with us in February I'm sure Eric won't mind?” “Okay I'll go but right now we have to leave to get to your wedding” Tara cried as she shoved Janessa toward the door. Janessa had a wonderful wedding and then left two days later for her vacation with Eric. Janessa did keep her promise and in February Tara, Janessa, Eric all went snowboarding together, Eric was a show off by doing so many tricks that the girls couldn't do. Two years later Janessa and Tara were still really good friends and Janessa had a baby on February 3rd. From then on Janessa tried to include Tara in as much as she could. ----
The Missing Pens
By Prairie Don
“ Strawberry are you going to the tree climbing contest after school?”, asked Banana . The tree climbing contest was the most popular contest at school.
“Yes I am”, I replied, “Are you?”
“No I can't, I got detention for fighting in the hall”, she said.
“But you never fight!”, I gasped
“I know but I got really mad at someone”, she sobbed.
At the contest Mrs.Eitzen the 5th and 6th grade teacher called the winners for the last and final round for the tree climbing contest.
“The winners are Strawberry, Sal, Bob, and Shadd , called Mrs.Eitzen.
I could not belive that I was one of the winners, now for the finials which are in Hanna Hills. The next day Banana looked really sad, and a bit guilty. At second period Mrs.Eitzen told us about the missing gel pens. As soon as Mrs.Eitzen had finished Banana blushed ,and I knew who it was that had taken the gel pens.
Try to solve the Mystery....
At recess I asked Banana why she was sad, she told me she was sad because she didn't have any gel pens, her dad bought her a pack of two hundred pens so she would have a big set of two hundred gel pens tomorrow!